bitches throw down

Ever seen someone who has never really broken out of their 70's vibe and still likes the polyester pantsuits? Do you have a girlfriend who can't be talked out of her mom jeans? We Bitches have a theory about a person's fashion compass:

Without motivation, a person's fashion personality does not change much over time.

In physics terms, you could say that a wardrobe at rest tends to stay at rest. While an aging disco queen at the grocery store is perhaps an extreme example, we think that most people find their favorite style models when they are young and have kept them alive in some form, since then. As someone who is guilty of having plenty of fashion throwback tendencies, my personal theory is that my parents and the peers of my youth were my harshest critics. The crowd I ran with schooled me at a young and malleable age (sometimes not in the nicest way) on what was and was not acceptable, and what did and did not look good on me. This early critique became part of my social DNA and has stayed with me to this day. . . which is probably why I still gravitate to wanting to wear safety pins in my ears with my shredded jeans.

This presents a problem, since even L.L. Bean eventually updates their khakis: how do you keep from being, in fashion-terms, that old guy with the comb-over who refuses to change? More importantly, how do you take on a new look or new ideas without buying an entirely new wardrobe?

We bitches decided to take this on and stretch—to break out of our fashion molds and see if it's possible to do new things and make change fun and painless. Most importantly, we took this on with the goal of not spending any extra money.

For our fashion throw-down, we used the extremely helpful Lucky Guide to Mastering Any Style - how to wear iconic looks and make them your own. This awesome little tome identifies 10 completely different iconic looks and the essential pieces that one would need to pull them off.

To kick it off, we picked two looks that neither of us normally wear or are particularly comfortable with and assigned them to each other:

Moi gets to try on Gamine,

Audrey Tatou and Audrey Hepburn are the best known Gamine icons. I know - they're totally adorable, right?

Jean Shrimpton is also a Gamine Icon. Naughty elf indeed!

and Pirate gets to test drive Bohemian.

Sigh. Ali McGraw was totally hot, when I was about 6.

Stevie Nicks: the ne plus ultra of boho chic.

That's right, we bitches will be sacrificing ourselves in the name of science. Er, fashion. Fashion science? Yeah, that's it. Stretch? Hell yes. We Bitches eat change for breakfast!

Can you feel the excitement? Can you? I can!! Stay tuned!

proof that I am not a tomboy

Moi and I have been lusting over a certain pair of shoes, and I have finally bit the bullet. I own these bad girls.

When first I saw them, I admit I was overwhelmed by the proportions: that's a big-ass platform. Next to all the other shoes at the shoe store, these are enormous. They are also 100% girl: peep-toe, hot red, and a stiletto that could injure an intruder, should it be necessary to defend oneself.

On the plus side, the proportion of that platform means these big girls are way comfortable. They look like they should be excruciating, and they are not.


Photographer: Hey, she's 8. She's doing her best.
Setting: Needs a good clean. Anyway.
T-shirt: Hanes
Skirt: BCBG
Necklace: Anthropologie
Shoes: Jessica Simpson "Astor"

FYI, they also look great next to a pair of cycling shoes.

Bitch a Day: Shabby Chic

It's spring and I'm not planning to shell out for a whole new wardrobe. I too am shopping my closet, though I yen for a couple of new items (like this Contrast Skirt, which I will have soon, sooon, my pretty). I'm also slow to change my look this season, because I am. OK? I'm happily stuck in my comfort zone fashion genres.

I don't always like to dress up on Friday, but I don't always like to go casual, so I tread the line between weekday and weekend wear. Friday is generally more of a rock and roll day.

I admit it fully: I love my shredded jeans. I know there are many who look at my shredded jeans with a wince, thinking why oh why would someone pay good money for jeans that look like they got dragged behind a truck for 100 miles? You look like you were attacked by a dog – surely you didn't do this on purpose?

Yes. I did, I do, I love them, and I don't care who knows. The real problem for me is, how does one get taken seriously when wearing jeans avec holes in them? How do you wear them without looking like a homeless person? Or worse – a 15-year-old girl?

My answer: I dress them up. I figure if I look like a grown-up from the waist up and the ankles down, no one will question my fashion sense. I pretend it's OK. Because it is.

OK?


Shirt: Banana Republic 3/4 sleeve button down shirt, in Magenta.
Scarf: Alexander McQueen silk (skulls)
Jacket: J. Crew velvet pinstripe blazer
Shoes: Steve Madden, cheetah print stilettos. Or is it leopard print? Cougar? Anyway . . .
Jeans: J. Crew vintage slim fit in "beat to sh*t" wash
Cat: Cartman the Magnificent

Shredded jeans is my answer to Hawaiian Shirt Friday. It's my middle-finger to the working week. They generally get a little more use on Friday (and sometimes Monday when I am still attached to the weekend).

Tell the bitches: What do you wear on Friday when you just don't care?

A Bitch A Day: Winter White

Drat! Turns out yesterday's brief sunshiny reprieve was nothing more than a cruel, cruel joke, an amuse-bouche sized portion of springtime rather than the whole ding dang meal. As I sit here and write this, even MORE SNOW is falling outside my window, floating down in that blanket thick way that almost always portends a major dump somewhere in the neighborhood of a gazillion inches. Which means more shoveling and more driving of the high clearance/high gas mileage vehicle instead of my zippy little Mini. Le sigh. The car, she is just going to have to wait until April to get out.

Seems like my spring wardrobe is stuck inside as well, regardless of the fact that the stores and magazines are all chock-a-block full of spring/summer fashions. Damn them. But that's just the way the fashion cookie crumbles: the carrot of fall/winter and spring/summer is always dangled in the opposite season. Which gets me all confuzzled for a month or so until I figure out the math.

So not only am I craving summer, I'm craving summer color. Like white. Lots and lots of white. Not ivory, not ecru, not vanilla. White. On me, though; not on the ground.

What started it was this spread in Lucky magazine about teasing four season usage out of every item in your wardrobe. This outfit in particular caught my eye:



I don't have a similar scarf (although, hey, note to self . . . ), but I do have a wonderful white cotton modal dress I purchased last spring that has been calling my name:


So when I saw the Lucky spread, I hollaed back. Here's my interpretation, minus the excellent photography (I really need to sit down and finally figure out this camera!)


Then, I topped it all off with a black pea coat and a colorful scarf, but by that time, I was ready to throw the camera against the wall, so you'll just have to believe me.

Dress: Deletta for Anthropologie, spring 2009
Sweater: Investment Cashmere, purchased a million years ago, Dillard's
Tights: Hue, Target
Booties: Söfft, Dillard's

Note: if you're looking for a well made, reasonably priced,
and unbelievably comfortable black bootie, these could be the pair.

Necklace: Upcycled chain mail necklace, Wear It! boutique, Albuquerque

Note to self: go buy striped scarf. Then clean bathroom mirrors.

I wore this outfit to an editorial meeting yesterday and actually got a couple compliments, although it did make me feel a little too wide-in-the-hippy. Another casualty of winter: my appetite.

A Bitch a Day: Desktop Sailor

Moi and I have discussed the need to take our ideas on the road, as they say. Air out the closet. Show off our fashion smarts. Hold ourselves up for ridicule. Give our readers the opportunity to yay or nay us with impunity. Maybe even throw us candy or rotten fruit. We also take cash . . .

Anyway. In the service of this idea, I've decided to add a new topic and call it, "A Bitch A Day." I have decreed that every once in a while, we'll post outfits that we have thrown together. This can serve as style inspiration and as a reminder to us of what we have in our closets, or what we could do with stuff we haven't quite figured out yet. We DO sometimes forget what's in there, you know. . .

Today's Bitch A Day is called "Desktop Sailor."

Inspiration: On Moi's suggestion I have purchased a new French Sailor top from LL Bean. I went with the cream with navy stripe, 1/4 zip. On the plus side: I opened the bag from LL Bean yesterday and was immediately impressed: It's great quality and fits perfectly. What more could a bitch ask for? The down side: this stripe thing is new material for me – it's a great top, but what the hell do I do with it? This is the top's first time out.

Photographer: Twin A (she's not so steady, but she's learning)

Venue: my messy messy house, late for school (hurry up and take the picture already!)

Pants: Beat-up jCrew jeans

Shoes: shiny red flats by Born

Top: LL Bean French Sailor 1/4 Zip, cream with navy stripe

Jacket: (Much coveted – yes, Moi, I KNOW) H&M Military Blazer, black. I almost almost went with my jCrew velvet pinstripe blazer - it worked just as well. I just love this one. OK? There's nothing wrong with that.

Accessories: Whatever I could grab with one hand on my way out the door (red heart earrings, pearls, button bracelet)