A Bitch A Day: Winter White

Drat! Turns out yesterday's brief sunshiny reprieve was nothing more than a cruel, cruel joke, an amuse-bouche sized portion of springtime rather than the whole ding dang meal. As I sit here and write this, even MORE SNOW is falling outside my window, floating down in that blanket thick way that almost always portends a major dump somewhere in the neighborhood of a gazillion inches. Which means more shoveling and more driving of the high clearance/high gas mileage vehicle instead of my zippy little Mini. Le sigh. The car, she is just going to have to wait until April to get out.

Seems like my spring wardrobe is stuck inside as well, regardless of the fact that the stores and magazines are all chock-a-block full of spring/summer fashions. Damn them. But that's just the way the fashion cookie crumbles: the carrot of fall/winter and spring/summer is always dangled in the opposite season. Which gets me all confuzzled for a month or so until I figure out the math.

So not only am I craving summer, I'm craving summer color. Like white. Lots and lots of white. Not ivory, not ecru, not vanilla. White. On me, though; not on the ground.

What started it was this spread in Lucky magazine about teasing four season usage out of every item in your wardrobe. This outfit in particular caught my eye:



I don't have a similar scarf (although, hey, note to self . . . ), but I do have a wonderful white cotton modal dress I purchased last spring that has been calling my name:


So when I saw the Lucky spread, I hollaed back. Here's my interpretation, minus the excellent photography (I really need to sit down and finally figure out this camera!)


Then, I topped it all off with a black pea coat and a colorful scarf, but by that time, I was ready to throw the camera against the wall, so you'll just have to believe me.

Dress: Deletta for Anthropologie, spring 2009
Sweater: Investment Cashmere, purchased a million years ago, Dillard's
Tights: Hue, Target
Booties: Söfft, Dillard's

Note: if you're looking for a well made, reasonably priced,
and unbelievably comfortable black bootie, these could be the pair.

Necklace: Upcycled chain mail necklace, Wear It! boutique, Albuquerque

Note to self: go buy striped scarf. Then clean bathroom mirrors.

I wore this outfit to an editorial meeting yesterday and actually got a couple compliments, although it did make me feel a little too wide-in-the-hippy. Another casualty of winter: my appetite.

A Bitch a Day: Desktop Sailor

Moi and I have discussed the need to take our ideas on the road, as they say. Air out the closet. Show off our fashion smarts. Hold ourselves up for ridicule. Give our readers the opportunity to yay or nay us with impunity. Maybe even throw us candy or rotten fruit. We also take cash . . .

Anyway. In the service of this idea, I've decided to add a new topic and call it, "A Bitch A Day." I have decreed that every once in a while, we'll post outfits that we have thrown together. This can serve as style inspiration and as a reminder to us of what we have in our closets, or what we could do with stuff we haven't quite figured out yet. We DO sometimes forget what's in there, you know. . .

Today's Bitch A Day is called "Desktop Sailor."

Inspiration: On Moi's suggestion I have purchased a new French Sailor top from LL Bean. I went with the cream with navy stripe, 1/4 zip. On the plus side: I opened the bag from LL Bean yesterday and was immediately impressed: It's great quality and fits perfectly. What more could a bitch ask for? The down side: this stripe thing is new material for me – it's a great top, but what the hell do I do with it? This is the top's first time out.

Photographer: Twin A (she's not so steady, but she's learning)

Venue: my messy messy house, late for school (hurry up and take the picture already!)

Pants: Beat-up jCrew jeans

Shoes: shiny red flats by Born

Top: LL Bean French Sailor 1/4 Zip, cream with navy stripe

Jacket: (Much coveted – yes, Moi, I KNOW) H&M Military Blazer, black. I almost almost went with my jCrew velvet pinstripe blazer - it worked just as well. I just love this one. OK? There's nothing wrong with that.

Accessories: Whatever I could grab with one hand on my way out the door (red heart earrings, pearls, button bracelet)

closet icons part deaux

Last week, Pirate posted a list of her Closet Icons, those items that anchor her wardrobe and give it substance and style.

I’m with Pirate on several of her choices, not the least of which are blazers and good shoes. My Jones for each are pretty much equally matched. A well made, versatile jacket/blazer and pair of shoes are the backbone of any workable wardrobe. As for the rest of my Closet Icons, some of these items are particular to my individual style; others I think should be included in every gal's closet. I've tried to provide links to items, where available.

A Wedge and a Boot – Lord knows, I loves me a sky high stiletto heel, but if I were forced at gun point to pick only two shoes in which to spend the rest of my life, I’d choose my vintage Famolare Hi Up wedges


and Born’s Thicket black leather riding boot

In my opinion, there is literally nothing you can’t pair either shoe with. On the boot, there's enough of a heel so that you don’t look like a reject from a Lord of the Rings conference and enough of a sleek silhouette that you don’t look like you’re about to go muck out a barn. I’ve had this pair for eight years and they look brand new.

Because my over all aesthetic leans towards 1970s Boho mixed with a little rock and roll, a wedge is essential to my wardrobe. In summer, I pair mine with wide leg jeans and a peasant blouse or a floaty summer dress. In the the winter with skinny jeans, a long sweater, and leather jacket.

Grey V-neck Cashmere Sweater – Not everyone can wear a turtleneck and to those gals I say, make the v-neck your friend. I choose v-necks primarily because they are more accommodating to my tendency to pile on necklaces and scarves, which is difficult to do with a turtleneck. Besides which, for some reason, while wool never makes me itch any where else on my body, it bugs the skin on my neck to no end. Why grey? Because it's one of the few neutrals that, like beige, come in a range of hues, from pale dove, to deep gunmetal. Which means, there is a grey to flatter every skin tone.


Pashmina – Yes. I'm a scarf gal. I’ve got tons of them, in every color, size, shape, and print, but my number one go-to is a lovely pale pink pashmina a good friend gifted me for my birthday last year. There’s nothing like a pashmina for keeping you warm and looking stylish. There are about a gazillion ways to tie the things, and you can even wear them as tops. There’s nothing better for travel (especially now that the NTSB has put a fatwa on in-flight blankies), and they wad up into nothing to fit easily in a carry-on bag. Two is all you really need: one in a go-with-everything neutral like grey, pale pink, navy, or camel, and one in stand-out color like fuchsia, lipstick red, or brilliant turquoise.


White Jeans – If you want to bump up the easy breezy chic factor an extra notch (and you're not given to sucking on chocolate bars 24/7), try a pair of white jeans. In summer, the combos are endless: pair with sandals and a tee for go-anywhere-casual; a pair of pumps, button down, and blazer for work; a silk peasant blouse, heels, and a dangly earrings for dinner. In winter, do like the girls in Milan do and pair them with a sweater and a pair of chunky boots, either over or under.

How cool is this look? So cool, I want to reach through the screen and steal it!

LL Bean’s French Sailor's Boatneck Shirt with Three-Quarter Sleeves – I’m not really a flimsy tee shirt or tank top gal, so in the summer, I LIVE in this shirt. The cut is classic, the quality first class, and you can wear it year round. I have two of them: the regular cut and the three quarter zip, both in cream/navy. After ten years, I haven't worn either one out yet, that’s just how awesome the quality is on this baby. And did you see the price? Uh, huh.




White Button Down Shirt – I have two. A simple tailored basic from New York and Company (great place to pick up basics at low, low, low prices), and a slightly fancier one from BCBG with ruching under the bust and puffy, three quarter sleeves. Is there anything a crisp white shirt won’t do? Well, it won't get Johnny Depp to return your phone calls, but other than that? A white button down shirt is the motivational speaker of your wardrobe. Check it out at Polyvore.

closet icons

Nina Garcia published a really great book called "The One Hundred: A Guide to the Pieces Every Stylish Woman Must Own" – a nice little coffee-table tome. I have used Nina's guide to justify more than one addition to my closet (thank you, Nina, for helping me with the purchase of those Frye boots).

Although Nina is well qualified to tell us what we should wear (she has held positions as fashion director at both Elle and Marie Claire magazines), one could argue that Nina's 100 are maybe not for every woman. Nina qualifies her list of essentials to be for all "stylish" women, which is perhaps why she includes things like Caftans and Driving Shoes. Her style is not always mine (Minnetonka Moccasins? Really?), so I don't know if I would go so far. I also don't think that every woman need collect all 100 things that Nina has identified (and I daresay Nina says the same in her foreword) but as guides go, I think she has the right idea: every stylish woman must own certain items. I call them Closet Icons.

Here's what I mean by Closet Icons: they are the things that I own because they are so entirely useful and versatile. They're go-to pieces. My essentials are pieces that get regular wear, look undeniably chic in any setting, and/or set a standard for the rest of my closet. My closet icons are the pieces that I wear that make me look like I give a shit about how I look.

I think closet icons are an individual thing. If they were all the same, we'd all dress in snappy white jumpsuits and Pumas like those people in The Island. Although, I do think there are some versatile staples that can be done by pretty much every body.

I am putting in writing my own list of essentials, in no particular order, and not exhaustively compiled. This is not the list of things I would shove into a bag if my closet were on fire and I only had a minute to grab things to save – that's an entirely different list. Here goes . . .


Pearls Barbara Bush and I are in total agreement on the wearing of pearls, though perhaps not for the same reasons. Barbara is known for saying out loud that fake pearls are just as good as real ones, no one need know how much you paid for them (and lord knows she could afford the real ones).

I had a string of pearls in my jewelry drawer for years that I was afraid to wear – they seemed "too nice". Boy was I wrong! Pearls can be dressed up or dressed down, they really can be worn with jeans or with a dress, and you don't have to be too careful about how to wear them. Most importantly, pearls don't have to be expensive to look classic and timeless – I have pearls of different lengths and different sizes and variations so I don't have to wear the same classic choker every day.

Black Turtleneck I seem to remember that black turtlenecks were first in vogue when they were the exclusive domain of arty beatniks, along with cigarette pants and cigarette extenders and berets. These days, it's one piece in my wardrobe that I can wear with anything, and it works: jeans, dressy trousers, skirt, etc. I have recently updated my best black cashmere turtleneck because it was too boxy (yes, even the cut of classics change over time – giving you yet another excuse to go shop).


One Really Good Fitting Pair of Jeans Nuff said. My current faves are the vintage jCrew Matchstick fit, though these are not all-occasion denim. I have a few pair of Really Good Fitting Jeans for dressier occasions (no holes), and for going out (ass-tastic butt-huggers). It's a go-to item for me, because I can dress them down or dress them up without feeling fussy or overdressed. Plus, in New Mexico, denim is pretty much standard fare for all venues (nightclubs, dinner out, the opera, the symphony, etc.), regardless of the fact that it makes Moi insane (oops, sorry, Pirate :o) )


Pencil Skirt I was a slow convert to the wardrobe muscle that is a good pencil skirt, mainly because I used to hate dressing up. Now I think my closet is not complete without it. It's definitely a dress up piece: this is not something that can be worn for the birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. Pencil skirts are good for many body types. The cut is girly genius for lengthening legs and emphasizing hips, while showing off a feminine shape.

A great pencil skirt is all business. It says, "Pay attention; I'm about to say something important." It's possible that once you put on your pencil skirt, all attention will be on you, and it won't matter what you have to say.


Blazer Again, I was a slow convert to the utility of the blazer, probably because a good blazer is expensive and I used to be totally cheap-ass about my clothes. Now I have two or three in my wardrobe, and they weren't all that expensive. One of my favorite blazers is my H&M Military Blazer which I picked up for #20, and which will be bequeathed to Moi in the event of my demise (y'all are witness to this.)

Blazer math is very simple. Allow me to demonstrate:

Blazer + white shirt + trousers = business conservative
Blazer + complicated top + jeans = eclectic
Blazer + dressy top + pencil skirt = business
Blazer + t-shirt + jeans = rock and roll
Blazer + Black turtleneck + khakis = Patrick McGoohan...

You see? Crazy versatile.


The ubiquitous Little Black Dress Every woman has at least one asset: you might have been blessed with a great butt, nice boobs, strong shoulders, long legs, good skin, etc. You should have at least one go-to piece that emphasizes your asset(s) to make you look even more fantastic. This is your superpower dress.

Good tailoring costs a lot, so don't be afraid to spend the money. This is the dress that you'll keep coming back to because you look great in it, and you feel great wearing it. Perhaps your best asset is your skin, and black is not your color? Your LBD should be your color – black is a good color for most people and most skin tones, and has the added benefit that it can be chicly worn to a wide range of occasions (work, funeral, ballet, dinner out, ex-boyfriend's wedding, etc.).

You can, and should, wear any shoe you like with your LBD: Bright colored or neutral heels, tall boots, flats, etc.

Every woman needs a superpower dress. When I wear my LBD with my hot pink McQueens and some turquoise jewelry, I can stop traffic.


Expensive Shoes I know women who, no matter what, refuse to spend money on shoes. Out of pure stubbornness, they think it's absurd to spend money on something that they don't notice – but trust me when I say no matter how well you take care of your Payless shoes, everyone can tell that they're cheap. It does not matter if you love sky high heels or if you're happier in flats, the difference between an expensive shoe and a cheap shoe is obvious to the world. Even if you don't notice, other people do. We can tell. Expensive shoes aren't always perfect, but cheap shoes will always let you down. Always. Worst of all, putting cheap shoes with a nice outfit just un-does all your hard work.

Expensive shoes endow a woman with something I call Shoe Confidence. As in, I can do whatever I want, because I look awesome from the ankles down.

I would also argue that your feet are an essential part of your person – they carry you from place to place, they hold you up and walk you around. They are yours, and without them you'd be sitting all the time. I say, why not lavish them with love by decorating them?

By "expensive," I mean more than $30. Yes - I mean spend $50. Spend $100. For the record, I'm not talking sale price, I'm talking retail value. Doesn't matter how much you actually paid (the better your sale deal, the better the Shoe Confidence). Good expensive shoes change your outfit and your demeanor. Go and put $100 worth of fine Italian cow on your feet and get back to me – I'm betting you'll feel good about yourself, you'll feel beautiful.

And that's the whole point of a Closet Icon.

Moi will post her Closet Icons next week. In the meantime, disclose to the Bitches: what are your Closet Icons?

I See Dead Clothing

MOI: Okay, Pirate, I’m going to make my one and only prediction for 2010. And it’s a bitch as much as it’s a prediction. Although it pains me to say it, all signs so far point to the fact that the economy in the New Year is going to suck even more verily than it did this year. Heck, y’all thought we had to tighten our belts in 2009? In 2010, we’ll have to sell them to pay the utilities.

While I’m the first person to admit I’m easily distracted by brand new shiny objects, most especially shoes, I’m also frugal and realistic. I know there’s only so far I’m going to be able to stretch my retail fashion dollar next year, and it won't be much beyond the tips of my fingers. But that's okay. We can still make lemonade out of the lemons. Here's how:

1. Reuse. These days, it's nearly impossible to score the kind of bargains that were a dime a dozen back in the Big Bad Eighties when I first started scouting vintage and thrift stores for the bulk of my wardrobe. Still, if you’re savvy and patient, you can still snag a bargain or two on occasion.

Case in point: three weeks ago, I bid on and won this mint condition vintage Norma Kamali OMO dress in the most gorgeous silk/rayon blend, with ruffles at the shoulders and fish tail hem.


Only set me back five dolla, plus a few bucks for shipping. This dress looks like it was worn maybe a handful of times before being relegated to the back of someone's closet until that someone dug it out and listed it on eBay. Now it belongs to Moi, and believe me, I will most definitely give it the attention it deserves. Perfect right now with a tissue turtleneck and lace up suede riding boots (also vintage – I’ve had them since college), and later with a pair of sky high tee strap sandals to a friend’s wedding.

2. Recycle: Last month, Pirate and I headed up to Santa Fe for the Recycled Art Festival and found among its dozens of vendors a veritable cornucopia of recycled (or upcycled, if you will) fashion – everything from jewelry to hats to handbags. I snagged this lovely piece from the Arroyo Secco-based Secco Pearl recycled clothing collective for only $20:


Last year, I apparently managed to charm, er, wear down, Santa Fe costume designer and dedicated upcycler, Julie Anderson, to the point where she let me take home one of her demented doll head clutches at a deeply discounted price.



3. Rethink. Shopping your closet and casting your old pieces of still-wearable clothing can provide the same small thrill as lifting up a sofa cushion and finding enough change to score a bag of Cheetos and a Fresca. These days, doing the vintage shop thing is as expensive as paying retail and the thrift shop thing is only fun if you have all day to comb through stacks and stacks of clothing, some of it so hideously unappealing, it's easy to get deflated by the sheer fuggliness of it all before you even start.

Instead, shop consignment. Sure, I’d kill for the financial ability to clean out Bergdorf’s in my Galliano gown, but that ain’t likely to ever happen in this lifetime. So when I'm not shopping sales or on-line discount sites, I'm headed to my favorite consignment shop, the simply smashing Two Time Couture. Clothing consignment boutiques like Two Time are not only a great place to sell unwanted shoes, boots, clothing, and handbags, they're also a great place to pick up designer clothing at discounts so deep, you need oxygen to go there. Over the years, I've scored everything from Vince cashmere sweaters to Ralph Lauren peasant blouses to DKNY pinstriped wool boyfriend blazers to Diane Von Furstenberg wrap dresses, at prices a fraction the cost of retail.

How about you, Pirate? Want to share some of your RRR phat loot?

PIRATE: Firstly and foremostly, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you dahling, and all my new bitchfriends out in the interwebs!

I've had a very prosperous year, lots of buckling swashes and corporate piracy has filled the treasure chests at this end. Even so, I have two little pirates and a triathlon habit to feed – so I too am feeling a pinch.

1. Re-use: Like you, I'll be spending some time this year trawling e-Pay for some bargains. I'm not great at this, but I do occasionally find things for less than I would pay retail. My issue with the re-use thing is time – as in, I have none for shopping, which is why I tend to do my shopping online. That's not always a good strategery . . .

2. Recycle: I will make more of an attempt to cull my closet and put things on e-Pay so that I can get new things. I need to model off your good habits. I also think we did a good thing last year letting you into my closet – I like giving my things up to good homes. I'm hoping that the new year will allow time for me to come peek in your closet, or you to come back to mine for more goodies. I'm sure there's something else in there you'll need.

I too had a fun time at the Santa Fe Recycled Art Thing. I feel all green and worthy, spending money on wearable art from recycled things. I had intended to do much Christmas shopping there, and although I did come away with one gift for someone else, I mostly shopped for myself. I picked up a recycled bike chain necklace,

so near and dear to my heart is this necklace. sigh . . . and so simple.

and a fabulous bracelet made from buttons,

Love it, love it, love it. Yes, now that you mention it, it does look like a tiny miniature LP on my wrist.
No, that did not occur to me when I purchased it.

and also a fabulous recycled belt buckle on a not-at-all recycled leather belt. Yes, I think we can call this Upcycled. It's a statement piece, and I had no such thing in my wardrobe previously.

It's red and it's big!

3. Rethink: Mama rarely buys a thing that isn't on sale. This is a rule that has few exceptions – like that time when I bought those khakis with the tuxedo stripe because I just knew I'd wear them every day until they had holes in them and I was worried they would sell out before I got there . . . the other exception is when it's so cheap it's hardly worth waiting for a sale.

I am sometimes a victim of impulse – I worry that if I don't get that precious thing right now, it will be gone forever and I'll never have another chance. While that's been true on a few notable occasions, most of the time, I have found that they will always make more stuff, or my precious object will eventually find its way to e-Pay where I can snap it up for more than retail (I do my homework, ladies – don't think for a second that e-Pay = cheap!). Maybe it's a byproduct of my age that I'm now more measured about my shopping. I will be rethinking how much I need that thing right now.

If I know I want That Thing, and it's something that will find an easy place in my wardrobe, I will stalk my prey and pre-shop (e.g., try it on, find out my size). Then I wait for the e-coupon to fall, and I pounce. I've scored some super deals this way – like 45% off deal on that jacket on jCrew I've been waiting and waiting and waiting for . . . and the 50% off my most favouritest over the knee boots.

Also, I need you to come over and help me re-do my outfit selections. My mother paid the Chic Expert to come and look through her things and give her ideas on how to put outfits together – and she took pictures of them. What a great idea, right? Like a style book!

MOI: Goody, more closet cleaning coming up! Ladies, if you've got girlfriends anywhere near your size, I heartily recommend doing this. In fact, Pirate, let's save this for another post. The Who What Where When and Why of Shopping Your Best Friend's Closet.

Edited as per Aunty's Request:

ePay is what Pirate calls eBay. It is Moi's Numero Uno discount fashion site. To get the most out of eBay, it is best to avoid bidding "blind", and only use it to search and bid on those items you know will fit. For instance, last year, I was searching for a simple white, heavy cotton strapless dress. Banana Republic had one for $98 as part of their spring collection. It fit me perfectly and so I waited until a certain trusted eBay B.R. discounter, who buys in bulk from distributors, put one up on her site. A couple months later, bam, I had it for $15.99. Disadvantages of eBay are that fakes abound, so check history and feedback carefully. I find that private sellers (those who aren't stores or discounters), almost always sell the real deal (they're cleaning out their closets and not buying suspect inventory from Singapore), although there are a few distributors, like JT & Company (who handles BCBG), who are dead on honest.

For discounted shoes and handbags, nothing beats EndlessShoes.com. Savings of up to 75%, free shipping, and a no-questions-asked, no-cost, 365-day return policy. Piperlime.com has a tremendous selection and some good sales.

About six months ago I joined, at Aunty's invitation, one of the handful of fashion shopping sites that are invite only, HauteLook.com (let me know if you want an invite). Sites like this and Gilt Group (to which I also belong) are becoming very popular ways of shopping high end designers at deep, and I mean DEEP discounts. Clothing, shoes, accessories, handbags, even home fashions at up to 95 percent off. I have purchased two things from Haute Look - a set of 22 Amrita Singh 24K gold bangles that normally go for $130, for $18; and a purple and black ruched jersey dress by Queue that retails for $250 for $80. Because these sites order direct from the designer, who ships to them, who in turn ships to the customer, shipping is a little slow. But I got each of my items, perfectly packed, with tracking number, within 10 days. I'll take discount over speed any day.

Another of my top favorite clothing sites is LLBean. Seriously. This is a hidden gem for fashionistas. Everything from workout clothing to French boat cut striped shirts to adorable cashmere hoodies to leather riding boots can be had at terrific prices. And with its free return policy, if something doesn't fit quite right, back it goes, no questions asked.

Pirate, if you have any faves, feel free to share!

Pirate Adds, On my e-Pay (OK, I'll call it eBay) purchases, I have but one rule: I do my research. As Moi says, counterfeits abound, as do untrustworthy sellers. Usually I know what I'm getting into because I have spent a lot of time looking at said item in person or have pined for it at length by retail. I have sometimes caught some big deals, like the time I scored those Alexander McQueen heels (normally retailing for $850, I purchased on eBay for $165 - I stalked those puppies for almost a year). I have also paid too much on e-Bay.

I totally agree with Moi - Endless is the way to go on shoes. I don't shop Zappos -- I have never seen a deal on Zappos that couldn't be beat at my local Dillards, or on Endless.

I spend a lot of my online money at JCrew and BCBG, because their clothing is consistent in sizing and quality, and they have regular online discounts. I am on both of their online mailing lists, and they sometimes offer exclusive online sales for their mailing list customers. I shop their online catalogs for ideas and mentally earmark items that I want, and then I wait. It usually isn't long before they sell their new items at a discount, or offer free shipping, or something.

Happy Holidays!

The Bitches are taking a hiatus for the holiday season to eat a lot of food and fret over outfits. We'll be back next week with a post on recycled/upcycled fashion. Until then, mucho smooches to you all, enjoy the warmth of the season with friends and family, and don't forget:

JUST SAY NO TO THE DECORATIVE HOLIDAY SWEATER!

We're not kidding. We don't care if you ARE being ironic.
Don't do it.

Okay, okay, if you're THIS guy, you can do it. This guy, he could wear fUggs on his head, we wouldn't kick him out of the party. Although, our husbands might have something to say about that.
Stooooooopid husbands.

crickets chirping, ugly shoes, holiday blues

MOI: Yes. We know. It has been Slackerville around Fashion Bitches H.Q. lately. We have been busy with work. With holiday parties. With facing the daunting task of coming up with fabulous prezzies. For other people.

So, Pirate, what do you have to say for yourself?

PIRATE: Well, I too am suffering from a certain lack of inspiration. Malaise or Malazy? Probly both.

I did, however, get e-mail from Endless.com today (God bless them). I think they like me! They are beckoning me to come buy their most popularest boots at a deep discount, so I clicky the linky 'cos, you know, a Bitch has gotta see what boots are on sale and stuff. It's Christmas, right?

Once I stopped drooling on those gorgeous rose embellished pumps (I'll note they can be obtained for a very reasonable $99), I was aghast to note the number of fUGGly boots they are selling. The variety is somewhat staggering.

We have fUggs with studs (can be found in black or brown, lord help me).

We have the ubiquitous (and not entirely unexpected, given their non-shape) fUggs with fur, in black brown or pre-dirtied white.


and perhaps the most wrongest of all, patent leather fUggs.



There are also fUggs with corset detail (I'm not sure I find these sexy)


And of course, no girl's shoe wardrobe is complete without Zebra fUggs

. . . you know, for that "wild" look.

I note that I have seen these mostly on the feet of the younger set (e.g., High Schoolers), and so I have written them off as Too Young for Mama. Thank fUgg.

Having said that, have you seen the prices for these bedroom slippers? For the price of a pair of these, you could buy a whole lot of really nice looking boot (about a yard or so of moo-leather, by my accounting). Sheesh, my most expensive pair of boots evar were not as expensive as the fUggs.

Thoughts, oh fabulous one?

MOI: Well, I just hate fUggs. First, because they are butt ass ugly – I mean, unless you are an Eskimo, why in the holy fire of heck would you want to look like someone just shot a grizzly bear and wrapped it around your lower extremities? Plus, are we the only ones who have grok'd to the irony of the fact that these things were invented and are still produced entirely in Australia, a country where, the last time I checked, Near-Nekkid Beach Volleyball was the name of the national game, not Ice Floe Hopping?

Hello? McFly?

Now, excuse-ay Moi while I log onto Endless.com and purchase a pair of those flowered pumps. Just what this grown up gal needs for her New Year's Eve outfit. Which I realize may entail a cozy track suit on the sofa waiting for the ball to drop on the East Coast (where it is ten o'clock in the Land of Enchantment) instead of a wild ass party or romantic dinner. Regardless; awesome shoes must be worn.

PIRATE: Hallelujah, Amen, and pass the Credit Card!

I still cannot understand their un-ending popularity. What message do you suppose the wearers of these wish to convey? "I'm cool and hip and shop in Australia?" Or is it perhaps, "I am a fashion lemming?"

Because this boot says to me, "I have given up and I hate myself," or "I live in a mental institution and am not allowed shoelaces."

Please, oh please, let them go the way of the Dodo.