wedding story in many parts

Did I mention I'm getting married? Oh, a wedding, a wedding! How thrilling and exciting! 

I have found on the internets a real dearth of information on what's out there for real weddings—what about people who are not on their first trip down the aisle? What creative ways can couples express themselves without resorting to super weirdness? (please don't google "Alternative weddings" —just trust me on that one). And most importantly, how do I do this without picking up a copy of Bridezilla magazine? 

I can't be the first one to ask such a question—thus, I am putting out here, on the internets, the data dump for my wedding, and the absurd process that goes with it, in case anyone else is similarly hard up for ideas.

Immediately I can tell you this is not going to be a Charles and Diana thing, that ritual holds nothing for us. Already we're struggling for a purpose to put this thing together. I mean, we're already completely besotted and espoused to each other in spirit, we know we're already there! Must we really go to the effort of choosing colours and flowers and which chicken or beef dish we supply for an ever-growing list of guests? 

It turns out the answer is no: we don't have to each have 9 bridesmaids and hold a topless dancer bachelor party. We don't even have to do the chicken dance. It didn't take us long to conclude that we can make this a celebration of whatever the f*ck we want, and celebrate it in whatever fashion our little hearts desire. 

We decided that the best part was that we get to be together and hold hands and giggle whilst we plan. You see, Himself and I are all about being disgustingly barf-inducingly ridiculous together. That's just how we roll. Yay! I knew I married this guy for a reason! We sat and we talked: what's important to us? What do we want to share with others, what do we keep to ourselves? 

It should come as no surprise that this Bitch has put Dressing Up at a very high priority on the agenda. We have so many options, elopement is but one of them. I reluctantly declined this as I would never turn down an occasion to show off a fancy dress, even if it's in a colour that does not favour me best.  And even if we weren't going to have a big fancy marriage party, Himself requires a good suiting. 

In no particular order, also on the list is fancy food. Also is chat with our closest friends. Also is cupcakes. This is pretty much how we arrived at the decision to throw a big party for a number of our closest friends, requiring them to dress up and come chat with us, whilst consuming cupcakes and other foods (it's a pretty short list of requirements).

I'd totally go to that wedding! 

There are many parts to this story, part 2 is the Suiting of Himself