Friday, December 11, 2009

crickets chirping, ugly shoes, holiday blues



MOI:
Yes. We know. It has been Slackerville around Fashion Bitches H.Q. lately. We have been busy with work. With holiday parties. With facing the daunting task of coming up with fabulous prezzies. For other people.

So, Pirate, what do you have to say for yourself?

PIRATE: Well, I too am suffering from a certain lack of inspiration. Malaise or Malazy? Probly both.

I did, however, get e-mail from Endless.com today (God bless them). I think they like me! They are beckoning me to come buy their most popularest boots at a deep discount, so I clicky the linky 'cos, you know, a Bitch has gotta see what boots are on sale and stuff. It's Christmas, right?

Once I stopped drooling on those gorgeous rose embellished pumps (I'll note they can be obtained for a very reasonable $99), I was aghast to note the number of fUGGly boots they are selling. The variety is somewhat staggering.

We have fUggs with studs (can be found in black or brown, lord help me).

We have the ubiquitous (and not entirely unexpected, given their non-shape) fUggs with fur, in black brown or pre-dirtied white.


and perhaps the most wrongest of all, patent leather fUggs.



There are also fUggs with corset detail (I'm not sure I find these sexy)


And of course, no girl's shoe wardrobe is complete without Zebra fUggs

. . . you know, for that "wild" look.

I note that I have seen these mostly on the feet of the younger set (e.g., High Schoolers), and so I have written them off as Too Young for Mama. Thank fUgg.

Having said that, have you seen the prices for these bedroom slippers? For the price of a pair of these, you could buy a whole lot of really nice looking boot (about a yard or so of moo-leather, by my accounting). Sheesh, my most expensive pair of boots evar were not as expensive as the fUggs.

Thoughts, oh fabulous one?

MOI: Well, I just hate fUggs. First, because they are butt ass ugly – I mean, unless you are an Eskimo, why in the holy fire of heck would you want to look like someone just shot a grizzly bear and wrapped it around your lower extremities? Plus, are we the only ones who have grok'd to the irony of the fact that these things were invented and are still produced entirely in Australia, a country where, the last time I checked, Near-Nekkid Beach Volleyball was the name of the national game, not Ice Floe Hopping?

Hello? McFly?

Now, excuse-ay Moi while I log onto Endless.com and purchase a pair of those flowered pumps. Just what this grown up gal needs for her New Year's Eve outfit. Which I realize may entail a cozy track suit on the sofa waiting for the ball to drop on the East Coast (where it is ten o'clock in the Land of Enchantment) instead of a wild ass party or romantic dinner. Regardless; awesome shoes must be worn.

PIRATE: Hallelujah, Amen, and pass the Credit Card!

I still cannot understand their un-ending popularity. What message do you suppose the wearers of these wish to convey? "I'm cool and hip and shop in Australia?" Or is it perhaps, "I am a fashion lemming?"

Because this boot says to me, "I have given up and I hate myself," or "I live in a mental institution and am not allowed shoelaces."

Please, oh please, let them go the way of the Dodo.

19 comments:

kylie said...

i dont know what they do with em overseas but here in Oz the cheap young things wear uggs with short shorts and muffin tops and they wear them everywhere, no pride required

LaDivaCucina said...

Hi Kylie, when I lived in Oz only Westies (people from the Western Suburbs of Sydney) wore them to pick up some milk while wearing track pants and plaid flannel shirts. Oddly enough, I think they got popular as a, ahem, dare I say it, "fashion" here in the States. When I moved from Sydney to L.A. in '02 the girls in L.A. were wearing them with mini skirts in the middle of summer. PEOPLE: these are slippers!! But then again what can you expect from people that think it's ok to wear pajama bottoms on casual Friday?

As for the muffin tops, Yes, seems no shame, clothes that fit or any access to mirrors seem to be a common thread among the younger set. Although my girlfriend, well into her 30's, seems to not own a mirror either, I've found that many clue-less women on both continents are suffering from this terrible malady. It's quite sad. I hate seeing my otherwise cute friend's belly hanging over her jeans like a middle aged truck driver. GAH!

moi said...

Kylie: Welcome, Kylie from Down Under! I love the phrase "cheap young things." A short handed way of saying so much that is so wrong with the way most young girls dress today. This current trend of slovenly sullen just makes me want to slap a Hilton. What happened to wanting to look GREAT?!?

La Diva: Ooooo, I just knew you'd weigh in and hit the nail on the head. Those muffin tops . . . that's a whole 'nuther post, right there, girl.

Boxer said...

"you seen the prices for these bedroom slippers?"

bwahahahahahaha. Great line.

My SIL gave me a pair of "boots" last year and I never looked closely at them until I was looking for some to take to the Oregon Coast. UGG BOOTS! I actually took a picture to send you but I think it's not on my phone anymore.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

Most distressing use of the fUggs:

At the gym, I have seen sweet young things wearing short shorts (which say things like "CHEER!" and "JUICY!" across the ass), working out on the elliptical trainers or stair climbers -- wearing fUggs boots.

Allison said...

OMG. Why did you have to bring up UGGS?! The make me insane. ESPECIALLY in LA where it's pretty much 80 degrees year-round and people wear UGGS with short shorts?????

Then I noticed that UGGS came out with flip flop. Furry flip flops. Because apparently sweaty feet is the way to go.

GAG.

K9 said...

look, these things have no actual function beyond derision and ridicule. imagine actually having to fight run or kick a federale land grabber in this gear. youd be floppin over yourself and before you can say "fugg me!" you'll be handcuffed and installed into your new dorm room at camp fema. grrrrrrherhahahaha

not NWO ready.


you cannot FTP in uggs.


* Fight the Power

moi said...

Allison: I so seriously want to spend a summer in El Lahy with a video camera and an AK-47. Point em both at all the poorly dressed celebretards and their wannabes and shriek: "For cryin' out loud, learn how to dress or suffer the wrath of my leetle friend!"

K9: Most definitely. Fashion for the slacker set minions slavering to get in line and slouch themselves towards the NWO.

kylie said...

i dont normally comment at fashion blogs and i have just realised it's prolly silly to show up in a blue singlet................



i'm stylish sometimes. promise

moi said...

Kylie: Girl, just don't show up in a pair of Crocs or Uggs and you'll be FINE.

LaDivaCucina said...

AGAIN: They are slippers. Right Kylie?! When I was there last March I went to a sheepskin wholesaler and looked for some scuffs. The slippers will run you between $30-$50 Australian but the UGG brand will cost you more.

My Aussie girlfriend actually got me the sheepskin flipflops in pink! We laughed our a$$es off! Guess where I wear them? Down to the pool in winter, bitches! And they are perfect for that but dare I leave to go and shop in them? NEVER!!! heheee....

MOI: I can take you to Detroit with your AK47 and I'll write out the fashion citations. One time I was waiting in the car outside of a grocery store in winter and I said to my sister: "jesus Christ, doesn't anyone here wear pants with a waist sewn in them?" Everyone had the "I give up" uniform on: pajama bottoms or track pants!

Heather Cherry said...

Thank you thank you THANK YOU eternally! I thought I was the only one on planet Earth that hated Fuggs!

kylie said...

yes. they are slippers

moi said...

La Diva: Pajama bottoms. In public. 'Cause one never knows when one is going to need a nap in the produce aisle?

Heather Cherry: You are most welcome. It is our mission to better dress the world through the sheer force of temper tantrums.

Kylie: What is worn in the home, stays in the home.

Wendy said...

I am not nearly as fashion-savvy or as well-dressed as you guys, but... I bought the Dr. Martens version of Uggs, the Jenny Boot. I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF. I love Docs anyway--BUT THESE ARE SO COMFY. http://www.onlineshoes.com/womens-dr-martens-jenny-boot-black-p_id163957
Please tell me I'm forgiven.

LaDivaCucina said...

Actually, Wendy, those actually look like boots. I forgive you. And Doc Martens are eternally hip. And no one wears them around the house while sporting a robe. (Well, I can't speak for you Wendy dear! haha!)

Wendy said...

A vintage chenille peacock robe. I have seven of them.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

Vintage chenille peacock robe? Seven?

As we say in my circles, we need to see pics, or it didn't happen.

Wendy said...

I really should be working, but since my editor didn't send the assignment she promised, I posted a pic on my vintage purse blog: http://vintagepurse.blogspot.com/

The robes are on a vintage chenille peacock bedspread. Next to the bed are two vintage chenille peacock rugs.

I've been collecting a long, long time.