Wednesday, August 19, 2009

these boots are made for?



Dateline: August 18, 2009, 10:44 a.m.


Thus emailed The Pirate:

I got the athleta catalog the other day - did you see these?

I'm in two minds about them... On the one hand, they're heel-less, and therefore not very sexy. On the other hand, they look sleek enough to be worn with a lot of stuff, and they look like one could actually run in them. Comfy. Also, pseudo wonderwoman-y. But, still not the sexiest. Interesting.

Thus replied Moi:

. . . ah-hem, missy . . . Not that I’m opposed to a flat heel. Oh no, siree. I spent all of last winter in fact practically 24/7 in a pair of 1” heeled riding boots. But these, these I am struggling with . . . Because there is a difference between something that looks vaguely like it belongs on the legs of one of those elfin-type characters in the Lord of the Rings whose every sentence begins with "Lo!" or "Verily!"




. . . and something that Wonder Woman might actually wear.

You know, to horse around with Sven the stable boy down in the south pasture while the old man is up at the manse busy checking his stocks on-line or something. That Wonder Woman. She married late and her husband SO does not understand her . . .

Thus respondeth the Pirate:

You know, this is exactly why I have friends like you, so that you can save me from myself and my sometimes cockeyed and not too-well-thought-out fashion fantasies. Sometimes a girl needs a second opinion. This, my dear, is why your e-mail address and phone number for texting are kept close at hand.


In my defense. I did see a lot of these flat-heeled jobbies in my recent trip to Your-rope (yes, I'm gonna drag that out for as long as I can - it's not so often a girl can say "when I was in London" so I'm gonna).
I was picturing more of this -

Note the distinct lack of heel on her boot...

I said look at the shoes, not the flowing tresses, or her bountiful rack, or her perfect proportions... The BOOTS.


See? No heel!

Also, did you not see the cute little sweater dress they paired the boots up with in Athleta?


But I guess with those fabrics, in those colors, I would most likely end up with less of the Apres Ski look, and more Elven reject from the Society of Creative Anachronism look, as you've so aptly identified.

deep sigh...


Moi's Final Word. I SWEAR:

You may purchase the sweater dress. Also, thanks for reminding me: Instead of eternity as Disco Queen, I want to spend it as Wonder Woman.

19 comments:

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

damn, this blog is WAY more fun than work.

moi said...

Work, schmerk. Soon, we will party like rock stars. If only in our heads.

Gnomeself Be True said...

Ummmm. Wonder Woman.

LaDivaCucina said...

Hmmm....I do like a flat boot but these seem like earth shoes that go up to your knees. And not wild about the colours either. Or the round toe. hmmmm....I can't see them being worn well with a skirt or dress so why not just wear shoes then? hmmm......

I have a q for you shoe ladies? What happened to the mule? All of a sudden, I can't find them anymore. I love them in Miami in the winter as they aren't hot like boots but still keep my feet dry and covered like a nice shoe. Any ideas or just out of fashion for now?

LaDivaCucina said...

PS: I only think they look good with the sweater dress cuz they match the black tights and if you had them in the colours it would break up the line of your leg and look odd. Just sayin'.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

OMG! Moi! we are being asked a question as if we are ex-purts!!

The mule, I think, is currently a bit out of fashion, I have not seen them lately. The "in" shoes appear to be platforms and/or stilettos, preferably together. I have seen little of mules in platforms or stilettos. Peeptoe mule platforms would be rather adorable, methinks BCBG did them once upon a time, but I'm not finding them now.

Moi?

moi said...

Gnome?: Tap, tap? FASHION site. Not soft core porno shite. Well, fashion is girl porn, but you know what I mean :o)

Diva: As Pirate points out, we not be experts, how-ev-ah, we be totally big mouth opinionated and my opinion on the mule is this: it's still out there, but underground. Because, unlike, say, a peep toe pump, which always looks fabulous even when you tweak it (because there is only so much you CAN tweak), the mule can be so gosh awful ugly. It can also be retro fabulous (Google Pelle Moda brocade mule) or totally street cool (anything by Frye). So, again, depends on the mule you're looking for. I'm thinking you're thinking . . . Frye.

LaDivaCucina said...

Moi and Pirate, If you love shoes as much as I do, and I think you do, then you are all the expert I need!

I like both the mules you pointed out but I prefer the dressy one. I like the mule cuz it looks dressy with pants (don't wear them with dresses or skirts) and I can still slip my foot out when sitting at a desk. Down here it's so hot so I like the convenience of slipping off a hot shoe but then slipping it easily back on to go out, esp. when raining so my feet don't get wet. It's really hard to walk in sandals with wet feet and they keep sliding off! Thanks ladies, much obliged!

Oh and all those high heeled platforms? I love 'em. But many of them come with straps around the ankles and guess what? They are too big!!! My foot keeps sliding out when I walk. I guess I have skinny ankles with Fred Flintstone feet. Go figure.

Gnomeself Be True said...

I think I've said this before.

Clothes are the things you girls wear to keep me from seeing you naked.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

La Diva -- there are plenty of high heeled platforms with no straps around the ankles. Trust me when I say you *can* find the right sexy platform shoe. The lovely thing about the platform is that it does not cant your heel quite so high in the air - so you can have a heel that looks magnificently tall without totally fucking up your feet. Shop for platform pumps, not sandals, and there you my find the right thing.

On the issue of temperature, there is also the short bootie, of which Moi is a huge fan.

Gnome, I look better dressed than un. There are certain things that nobody need see.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

la diva - look upon the bounty that Piperlime has, I think you'll find something you lust after here:

http://piperlime.gap.com/browse/categorySearch.do?cid=45980&pageID=0&searchFilter=0&searchFilterName=Platforms&searchFilterValue=All+Products////Women%27s%20shoes/bags////Platforms&searchContextPath=All+Products////Women%27s%20shoes/bags////Platforms&searchMode=1

LaDivaCucina said...

Oh dear. Of course I love the Joan and David and those Naughty Monkey ones are right up my alley! (I love color) I love them all!!! And I'm in the middle of writing a catering quote while I go back and forth looking at shoes! haha!

have you bought many shoes online? I think I need to try them on!

Thanks so much darling!

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

I have purchased many a shoe online from Piperlime and from Zappos. The nice thing about Zappos is that they include reviews from actual wearers describing the fit (true to fit, too big, too small, etc). And they're good on their word for returns - I have not encountered any issues thus far.

Nothing, however, is better than trying them on in person.

I have also found that, generally, once you know your size with a designer, you can mostly walk into anything else they make, with rare exceptions.

moi said...

Yes, Piperlime ROCKS. Literally. It's like crack cocaine for shoe ho's like us.

LaDivaCucina said...

Ok, I've bookmarked the site as the only place down here that has really cool stuff is Nordstrom's. The DSW is meh...hit or miss and too many old lady shoes. I watch "What Not To Wear" and I remember seeing last season all those lovely pointy toe flats and I could not find a flat down here without that stupid ballerina round toe if my life depended on it.

Thanks for the help!!!

Wendy said...

Great blog! Being of a certain age, I love a flat heel from a comfort standpoint--the boots look almost like socks--but as a five-foot-one (ish) hobbit-like creature, I must have a leeeetle height. Particularly whilst standing next to husband, who is six-foot-four. Ish.

Boxer said...

I got that catalog and didn't look twice at those "boots." I think boots need to have a purpose (or fake purpose as in "I'm off to go riding today or maybe just to the grocery store") and when I saw your picture of the Lord of the Rings? I spit my coffee out. However, when those boots ARE worn with black leggings, they don't look as bad, but I think that's just good photography.

I know your 1" boots, Moi, and they are sexy and practical and you were able to march all over Seattle in them. Those would be a great addition to any closet. But not the ones from Athleta.

moi said...

Welcome, Wendy! It is my firm belief that socks belong UNDER the boot. They should not supplant them :o). Holy cow! Good on ya for not being intimidated by that height difference.

Boxer! Those boots are one of the smartest purchases I ever made (unlike, say, the patent leather purple booties of last season . . . move along, folks, nothing to see here). They go with everything and it will be a sad day in my life when they finally fall apart. Which I'm hoping, with care and attention, will NEVER happen.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

there will be more boot discussion.

with two shoe whores in residence, trust me when I say, Shoes Will Be Discussed. Here on Fashion Bitches, it is always boot season.