This is so bad it earns its own post. I don't even know what to say . . .
But I'll try.
Uh, ladies? Really. Do not try this at home. No matter how big you think your ass is, pants that wink at people as you walk by is not going to make it less big.
In fact, it does the opposite.
No. Nyet. Nein. Nej tack. Nee. Tla. Ndak. Mhai. Non. Nei. And, finally: hell no, not on your life, a bet, or a lifetime supply of puffy cheetos.