Monday, October 5, 2009

You Ain't No Punk, You Punk

Recently, I commented on a post on War of the Nuts about how lucky ducky I am not to have an ounce of craftiness in my body, or I'd buy one of those Ronco studding thing-a-ma-jigs and bling up everything in my closet until 1983 called and demanded its attitude back.

Seriously. I loves me some studded.

In belts:

Around the wrist:

On a handbag:

And, of course, on shoes:

But on tights?

I don't know if the look says Max Mad so much as it does Skin Rash Contracted Somewhere in Southeast Asia. Or perhaps these are something blind people might wear during S&M play. "Read my legs: The Safe Word is Rapunzel."

These are kind of sweet and interesting, but again, maybe more Lord of the Rings rather than Lord & Taylor.

Alrighty, then, Pirate. You got magpie tendencies. What do you think? Then we'll open it up to the readers to lend their 2 cent's worth.

Pirate sayeth:

There lives in me (not too deeply buried) a punk rocker chick. She likes shiny, she likes hard, and she likes all icons of bad-assery. Like safety pins in the ears. Like shredded jeans. Like leather jackets . . .


In short, I too am a stud whore. I too loves me some studs. I grew up in the Studly Period of the fashion history time line. I can remember a time when I coveted a jacket that looked not unlike this:

It's good to see that my favourite icon has come back - or did it ever really die?

I have felt that in the post-70's and 80's, many a fashion house has appropriated my motorcycle chic for use in clothing to be purchased by old ladies. Perhaps it is my inner punk who feels this is Just Wrong for the "movement." Whatever. In my dotage I'm less inclined to dis someone else's overpriced handbag, in general. I'm a peaceful punk rocker these days.

. . . and that, my dear, is where my love of studs begins and ends, for I am a stud purist. I say belts, jackets, bracelets (by Gods yes, on a bracelet!), shoes (HELLS yes) and your dog's collar. Back in the day I was known to wear a dog collar with studs, but I have grown up now, and put my studs in more tasteful places and in smaller doses. Past that, I am inclined to say Nein to studs. Especially on hosiery -- how the hell do you wash those?! Also, it looks less like bad ass and more like bad skin to me. Not attractive.

I think the last pair of hoses look more like the new trend of "tattoo" fashion. To my mind, they look nothing like a tattoo, but the idea and the pattern is meant to bring body art to mind. The asymmetry is meant to inspire the eye. Again, it feels like a mis-appropriation of something cool, somehow. As if one may see it at Wal-Mart very soon.


EmmaK said...

I can just about cope with the handbag but I am not rock chick enough to carry any of the other stud ensembles off. I am definitely less Chrissie Hynde and more Kate Winslet in Titanic. I am always battling my inner Victorian straight laced goddess.

And, um, those tights with the pattern on one leg are frankly, horrible.

K9 said...

you know i actually sold my motorcycle jacket on Ebay last year? im really too old for it. i am. and studs. the cool thing about studs is you carry your weapons on your persona at all times, and im pretty sure that congress has not yet designed a bill to outlaw or tax them yet.

the tights with a lot of stuff on them: you must be quite trim. i like tights that are black pattern on pattern thought i have some harlequin tights that look good even on a short stack like me. but i mean, with boots and a dress not much shows.

you know, i probably have a propensity towards a doomer outlook cause i really wanna channel my inner mad max. i like clothes, the gear, the cars and the dog. but in real life i am channeling ellie may clampett. grrrrrrhaherha

Boxer said...

my inner girl is hippie chic(k) and while I long for the personaltiy (and height) to carry off the Rocker Chick look, it's just like putting lipstick on a pig. That said, I'm kinda liking those tights with the tats. But I probably wouldn't have the guts to wear them.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

K9 -- I had a shrink (a good 20 years older than me) tell me -- and show me -- that you can never be too old for a motorcycle jacket. It's all in the attitude.

Boxer, EmmaK -- do I hear you giving up before you start? I was once told that if you love something you can make it work, no matter how weird and quirky (my pink belt, for example). frankly, life is risk and fashion is no different.

Boxer said...

for the record, K9 can STILL carry off a motorcycle jacket. Just sayin'......

Pirate - bless you. I'll say this, thanks to knowing MOI and this blog..... I'm taking more chances than I ever have before.

moi said...

Emma: I love Kate Winslet. Great figure and just that right cross between tossled and proper that you Brit gals manage so well. Hey, you could always Ronco stud a few pieces of bling to a lace and silk Victorian corset. See how you feel.

K9: I remember the listing! I agree that at a certain point in one's life, most leather jackets just come off as masculine. The trick is to get one that hits just the right note between elegant and kick-your-butt.

Boxer: To expand on my comment to K9: while, as a former punk, I still carry my torch for studs, I never was much of a leather jacket gal. Most of them are too "Harley" for me. In other words, too bulky, too mannish in the cut, too many zippers and pockets, etc. But I do like what I call the Cafe style of motorbike jackets, which are sleeker, closer to the body, and easier for women to wear. I think one of these with a flowy, granny-style dress would look ├╝ber cool on a hippie chick!

LaDivaCucina said...

Diva thought studded jackets and belts were primarily for fights, not fashion! (sorry, I'm from Detroit!) Kidding, I loves the studs.

What I don't love is how today they bring everything that was considered cool and punk back for the masses with a much higher price tag. Skulls are now on tee shirts of dweebs like Jon the breeder Gosselin. Tats are on Christian girls asses! It's all so safe and mainstream now....makes me glad I was there for it the "first time!"

As for the tights, I love CERTAIN designed tights and on the right person. When I was only 17, I designed a line of punk tights that I had spray painted on with stencils and scored a meeting to the buyer of Kmart to try and get them manufactured! They weren't interested. Now my dad's wife calls me to say that over 20 years later she's seeing my designs (very similar) on tights at Target. sigh. I was too ahead of my time and not a dime to show for it!

Gnomeself Be True said...

Did someone call for a stud?

Damn! Wrong chat room again....

K9 said...

have you ever seen that famous photograph of faye dunaway in leather with studded bracelets? she could carry it. i think she is in her forties maybe. that jacket i sold was too motorcycle. and what i see these days at least in my age group are motorcycle couples all over the winding roads of north georgia. lets just say they bring a whole new dimension to the term "hog" grrrrrrrrhahahahaha

if they drive off a bridge? most of them will already have a built in life preserver.

thank you boxer, for that vote of confidence. i still wear my suede fringe jacket with no problem at all. my mom (!) bought it for me.

btw: pirate, moi? i really love this blog. great job goils.

moi said...

La Diva: Me, too, Mohawk and all :o). It was a grand time . . . And, grrrrrrrl, if I have to see one more photo of Jon Gosselin wearing Ed Hardy and toting around yet another vacant-eyed, silicone-titted bimbo, I'm going to personally track him down and beat him with a studded belt. THIS is what passes for a man these days?

Gnome: Dude, you're always welcome to drop by the "wrong" chat room. I'll bet there's not an ounce of Jon Gosselin in you.

K9: I may as well admit this right here and now and let the chips fall where they may. If I could obliterate every Harley from the face of this earth, I would. It's not the bikes that bug me so much as the "culture" that comes with them. When S.B. and I went to South Dakota to climb a couple years ago, we made the mistake of going two weeks before Sturgis, thinking that would save us. Non. What really pissed me off were all the thousands of freaking million dollar a year lawyer types, most of them who FLOWN their bikes in for the event, all decked out in their leathers and strutting around like they wished they were bad ass. And don't EVEN get me started on what the "bitches" were wearing. Alls I gots to say is, if you're wearing a leather halter and chaps out to dinner at a decent restaurant at night, I'm a gonna whip out my .38 and SHOW you bad ass. Freakin' rebels without a clue . . .

LaDivaCucina said...

You see, Moi and K9, THAT'S EXACTLY what I'm talkin' 'bout! Alternative lifestyle people, punks, bikers, etc, their "style" has now become a watered-down, vanilla version for the mainstream! There's even that show that glamourizes the bikey life....Sons of Anarchy. I knew some REAL bikers in Chicago and Sydney and frankly, they are not very nice people.

These seniors that ride those Harleys that look like two-wheeled Winnebagos just kill me! Why? Cuz those guys were most likely the straight kids in school that looked at the real bikers/greasers with longing to "be a bad boy" but ya can't cuz Daddy is sending you to law school and now finally, at 60, they can "express themselves" but in a safe way. You almost want to f*ck with them just to see them shit their pants!!!

Sorry, I'm sick and crabby and therefore extra snarky this morning!!

LaDivaCucina said...

I want to see you in your mohawk MOI!!!

K9 said...

grrerhahaha la diva! er, and we see the same thing in ed hardy/jon gosslin types. its kind of pitiful to see a grown man wearing what 12 year old sk8r boyz burned through a decade ago. tragic.

jon and kate + hate!

Boxer said...

K9 - fringe suede jacket! I want one too. and bwahahah to Gnomey for even sticking his head in here. You know who I'm missing in all of this? Aunty. But she's out spreading her word and I know she's bizzy.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

I think Moi could not be righter about the shape and texture of motorcycle jackets - the cafe style with band collar is a more fitted, more elegant statement of badassery.

It says "this is not my boyfriend's jacket, I'm a grown up and I bought my own".

It says, "I'm totally hot, and I will kick your ass if I need to."

Wendy said...

Let's talk about those tights. As a girl who is... um... thick in the leg region (curse you, dad), I can only imagine that studded tights would make me look like I'd be a suitable super-reinforced support system for a very large building.

moi said...

Pirate wrote:: "I'm totally hot, and I will kick your ass if I need to." Not a bad idea, making this a fashion mantra to take into 2010.

Wendy: Bwahahahahaha! That's how I feel about embellishments on the back of blue jeans. Excuse ay Moi, Mr. Designer Person. Have you SEEN my ass? If so, then you wouldn't have made a pair of pants designed to guide small aircraft in for a landing.

K9 said...

my favorite jeans have pockets with flaps. that little extra baby got back looks great. not embellishments - just an extra bit of fabric. but this sounds more like a new post......get to work girls

Heather Cherry said...

LOL, naughty braille tights!