Wednesday, October 14, 2009


PIRATE: I think it's time we share our obsession with the whole world, don't you think?

MOI: Yes, I agree. Thigh high boots, Party People. They're a big deal.

PIRATE: The fashion internets are atwitter with giggles of derision and gasps of excitement on this whole over-the knee boot thing. The boots, it seems, are like the vegemite of fashion – they are to be loved or despised. Like the plastic shoes.

You would think, being a pirate and all, that I would already own a pair. Alas, I do not. I would have owned some circa 1990, but was neither brave enough nor lived in the right town to pull such a look off. These days it seems that all the cool kids are doing it.

OMG Anne Hathaway looks super in that getup!!

So why have I not already jumped on the bandwagon? Jumped in with both feet, taken the bull by the horns, etc. etc.?

Well, this one I approach with caution for several reasons . . .

1) I live in a place that is a leetle bit behind the curve, fashion wise. People out here don't "dress" the way they might in a big city. That's not to say that I live in a city entirely populated by fashion schlumps (I do keep company with the likes of Moi), but it's not far off. Standards out here trend to a more rural sensibility.

2) I believe one must approach a trendy fashion like this with a certain trepidation. This one can be easily overdone. Let's face it: if I go too far into the costume realm, I will get stares, I will get comments. They might not be positive. As Lubov Azria says, fashion is all about confidence. I feel I need to be very confident to carry these off.

3) These damned boots are expensive! I'm willing to go into debt a certain amount for a fashion certainty, but these are decidedly trendy.

4) The look, if not done correctly, can tip the scales into Happy Hooker territory faster than you can say Xaveira Hollander Does Europe.

MOI: In that way that Pirate and I get when we obsess on something, we literally spent the entire week researching these puppies. We flung emails back and forth to each other like heads of state staving off a rebellion. We dug into the deepest annals of fashion blogs to investigate photos, checked a gazillion review sites, and viewed with eagle eyes videos showing our beloved thigh highs in mobile action. We discussed the merits of patent versus suede, flat versus heeled, black versus dove grey and every color in between.

Some would say we are obsessive. We, on the other hand merely say we are thorough. And, ladies, we're doing it for those of you who can't or won't do it for yourselves.

Therefore, we hereby bring you, the over-the-knee boots upon which we have settled.

Le Pirate, she is narrowing in on:

Le Moi, in turn, has just ordered these babies.

Only in a soft dove grey color called "Grigio." Le sigh. I just love it when designers speak the language of love.

Laugh if you will, folks. But we intend to rock these like a hurricane (or at the very least a small dust devil) for the entire season. We will report back. Oh yes, we will.


Gnomeself Be True said...

I'd give the man's perspective on those, but it'd certainly veer way over into TMI.

Wendy said...

I love your choices. Questions, though: How high would they go on someone who's five-foot-one? And will they work on chubby legs, or would it be too much of a struggle? You can't imagine the hideous pictures I have in my head.

K9 said...

thigh high requirements:


everybody else will look FOOLISH and i mean with a capital F. im sure moi and pirate can carry it. all others? be advised.

the oracle has barked. grrrrhahahaha

Buzz Kill said...

I personnally like thigh high boots on women but I only see that in period movies (think Kate Beckinsale). I never see regular women wearing them at any of the places I frequent (food store, kid's soccer games, Homedepot). The only other place I can think where you would see them is at a strip club - so I'm told.

LaDivaCucina said...

Pirate, I'm diggin' your new saying about the vegemite of fashion! I SO GET IT! haha!

Lurve the thigh high boots and had a pair with cuffs a al Pirate in the late '80's. But, you'll hate me for saying this, they used to really bug me as they would keep falling/slouching down as my thighs were too skinny to keep them up!! Kind of defeats the purpose to look hot in your spiky boots, walking down the street and stopping every few feet to pull them up. I couldn't take them back, so I never wore them and ended up giving them away. :(

I LOVE YOUR BOOT CHOICES DA BODA YOUSE AND Pirate, screw those that will judge you! Wear 'em with pride and if you can't do it for you, do it for Diva, who has to go to NYC to even think about wearing boots as it's still in the frickin' 90's here and I just laugh at these girls wearing boots in Miami, sweating, all in the name of fashion!

Have a fabulous weekend, Bitches! xx

Boxer said...

I think they sell those kind of boots in the Fredericks of Hollywood catalog? I'm wearing boots today, but they are calf high and I have black tights on. But, I'm shorty and so are my legs and Wendy is right. If I wore those, they be like fishing waders. All boot, no Boxer.

moi said...

Gnome: Didn't you just give the man's perspective on this? Or am I lost again?

Wendy: For petite gals, I'd recommend: A. A heel. B. The softer, sock like leathers or vinyls that hug the leg. That way, you look like you're wearing a legging, rather than a wader.

K9: Well, it's an experiment for sure. Which is why we shop the Web sites with coupons and 100 percent, no questions asked return policies!

Buzz: What we are going for here is something way north of Strip Club. Blue jeans and cable knit sweater, rather than bare legs, crotch-high pink mini, and tank top. That would just be . . . wrong.

La Diva: Thank you for the vote of confidence. Yes, I have given much head-tilting thought to the dreaded "fall down." Hey, at the very least, we'll get a hilarious follow up blog post out of it.

Boxer: All boot, no Boxer. Bwahahahahaha! See Wendy's answer. Calf high boots with tights are a coolio choice!

Boxer said...

you have taught me well, master.

Aunty Belle said...

post pics of Moi and Dread Pirate in thigh-highs!!

Aunty Belle said...

Looky!! I finally made it through in this combox--I think it has to do with the cache and privacy settings...blogger wants in yore jeans when ya have this style combox.

We wuz jes' in Charleston. Lots of windows featured thigh high boots--tres cool

moi said...

Please stand by:

A. Blobber is indeed being poopy and making it difficult for folks to post (sorry, Aunty!) and one of us (whichever one is most technologicallamy minded) will fix el problemo, pronto.

B. We are in the process of purchasing/trying on with outfits said boots and will report back shortly.

Pam said...

Oooh, I could see my inner self in these. Must. Get. Back. To. Gym. However, what would love to see -- pics of those dove gray thigh-his on moi herself. Legs only of course! Strike a pose, girlfriend! Vogue. Vogue.