Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Nighty Night, Gaultier

I'm a huge fan of Jean Paul Gaultier. Huge. Like, even before he did this thing for Madonna with the pointy rocket boobs. I love Gaultier, but mostly in concept—just try to wear garters outside your trousers to work one day and let me know how that works out, mkay?

Back here in the not-so-haute-couture real world, when I found out that JPG was doing a line for Target, you bet I beat feet to find out just what fabulousness had been created for my meager budget.

Even at Target you can tell the mark of an artist—the cut and the details are very high quality. The fabric is crap, but the originality of Gaultier comes through, even in a $39 dress. On the rack were a number of dresses, a double breasted suit (with a totally inappropriately short skirt), a beeyoooteeful little leather motorcycle jacket (a $200 leather jacket at Target? Really?) and some very wearable dresses.

I must have stood there at the rack touching and admiring for about half an hour before I tried anything on. My kids were out of their heads by this point. Mommy what is taking you SO LONG? This is fashion, kid, shuddup over there.

In the end I took home a couple of things: A draped dress (in a signature Gaultier nautical stripe), and a hot pink slip dress embellished with black lace, which I had to take because it was so sexaaay. The drape dress I have had no problem wearing, but the pink? It's built like a slip. It's colored like a slip. My spouse thought it was a nightgown. I don't have much occasion for evening dresses—I buy for office wear. How the hell am I gonna wear this to the office?

Mommy's little assistant, Twin A, came in to help me, as she often does in the mornings. She helps me pick shoes, inspires some choices, and picks my accessories with the same direct manner as the Russian Fashion Lady. This morning, I screwed up my courage and took out the pink nightie and put it with a white dress shirt and gladiator heels.

My tiny fashion critic of a daughter did not understand at all why mommy wanted to wear a shirt under the dress; her 7 year old eye was confused. She looked at me, wrinkled her brow and said "I don't get it. I thought it was a nightgown?"

Hold it right there, short-stuff: didn't you wear your ballerina skirt with your jeans yesterday? You know nothing about high fashion, missy. Besides. I. Am. Your. Mother. Now help me fix this thing.


She agreed it was much improved with some embellishments.

* Dress: Gaultier for Target
* Jacket: jCrew black velvet pinstripe
* Shoes: BCBG
* Pearls: Claires "Prom" collection

The moral of the story: though it's clear he shows a remarkable knack for feminine touches, Gaultier really is no easier to wear at 1/100th of the haute couture price.

5 comments:

moi said...

It cracks me up that you allow your daughter to wear a tutu to school. Over jeans, no less. Because of this, she will most likely grow up to be fearless fierce in her fashion choices. That dress most definitely falls into the category of totally-cute-but nearly-unwearable. You make it work, though. Totally cool with the blazer and pearls.

T said...

I am pretty sure jeans and a tutu will be the next big thing on the blogs. TRUST ME. It seems like the natural progression from socks and sandals.

As for the dress, I love the color!

Herself, the GeekGirl said...

So, quick question: you said crappy fabrics. Do you think dry cleaning would help extend the life of them?

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

RE crap fabrics: Normally, as in the case of most things purchased from H&M or its red headed stepchild Forever 21, I would say yes. Cotton, twill, silks, satins, these things do well with the extra love spent on dry cleaning.

However. The crappy fabrics they chose for the Gaultier dresses I bought are nylon -- they're about the same quality as a cheap nightgown, and dry cleaning would probably kill them. It's kindest to wash them as permanent press and hang to dry.

Unknown said...

must have some more erotic nighty stuff

Sexy Nighties