Wednesday, March 17, 2010

A Horse of Course


I may have an unnatural love for all things 1970s, but clogs are the one exception. Well, and leisure suits on men. And women, although if you're Angie Dickinson in Police Woman or Teresa Graves in Get Christy Love, takin' down the bad guys with your bad ass self while never once smearing your lipstick, you get a pass.

What you lookin' at, Honkey? Ain't no clogs on these feet.

Look, I like a bold shoe. But there's bold and then there's barf ass ugly. And when it comes to the Grand Canyon-sized memo on the distinction between the two, Chanel, apparently, didn't pick up its messages that day.

Because this is what it trotted out to pair with its exquisite suits this spring.






One has to wonder, what was the inspiration behind these shoes? The National Swedish Field Hockey team? The Lithuanian Milkmaids Consortium? Mr. Ed?

And who, I want to know, is responsible for letting that inspiration wreck havoc like a toddler off its meds in a candy store?


"My dahlings. Fear not. Fashion, it is the banana on the split of life. It is the boogie-oogie-oogie to the rhyme of my reason. It is the strawberry fields under the bubble gum of my shoe. "

Oh. Right. Never mind.

14 comments:

Tex said...

This is a really funny post. I am going to link to it.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

ah, wherever did you find a picture of Karl Lagerfeld looking his most crazy? Oh wait - that's pretty much anything taken in the last 5 years.

Methinks he spends too much time in the company of his own weirdness. Doesn't he live on a diet of Soylent Green?

http://www.everydiet.org/diet/karl-lagerfeld-diet

moi said...

Tex: So cool, thanks!

Pirate: I think he just might be an alien. And I'm laughing at that diet. Uh, okay. Limit calories and fats. Gee. Revolutionary.

春天來嚕 said...

may the blessing be with you.........................................

moi said...

And with you. Just stay away from the twin C's of destruction: Crocs and Clogs.

vivalacrap said...

"barf ass ugly" is an amazing phrase.

moi said...

Welcome, Vivalacrap! Thank you. A day without forking with the American vernacular is like a day without winning something totally unjustifiable on eBay and lying to my husband about it :o).

Boxer said...

I have two pairs of clogs. They are NOT Crocs (or that's what I tell myself, over and over again.) What I really don't like is any attempt to make clogs anything else but what they are; practical. I wear them without socks, with jeans on a Saturday going to the store.Standing on blocks of wood isn't the most comfortable thing, trust me. And yet.... I do.

Boxer said...

and bwahahahaha to your comment to Viva.

chickory said...

what is with the skinny medical tape wrapped around their legs? jaysus you got more worries than clogs here. lagerfield is insane. very obviously. thought pirates comment about him consuming soylent green was funnnneeeeee.

moi said...

Boxer: My main problem with clogs is that I never could and still can't walk in them. A 5" stiletto? No problemo. But a clog will send me sprawling on my ass every time.

Chickory: I think those are imprinted stockings that are supposed to look like ballet slipper ties? A visual juxtaposition between the implication of elegance and the actual clod hopping clunk of the clog? Like much of this collection, it makes no ding dang sense. For instance, what board room in the world would you be able to stride into wearing a boucle Chanel skirt suit slit up to your hoo-hah?

Finally, one must wonder this: Why have Karl Lagerfeld and Donatella Versace never gotten together? They look, sound, and speak like they were birthed from the same bat cave. Can you just imagine?

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

moi, you are on fire, baby.

Boxer said...

I've seen you work a pair of 5" heels and I am in AWE.

chickory said...

donatella can speak? with those lips? im impressed.